They say that it takes a village to raise a child, but what does it take to run a home?
Here in Switzerland, all it takes is a ‘Swisswife’ — at least in the area of Switzerland that I live in. Because here, it’s the norm to be a ‘traditional’ wife — a woman who stays at home, cooks, cleans and raises the kids, and is generally responsible for running day-to-day family affairs and the wellbeing of the entire family, cats and all…
This is why I absolutely love this most recent article by Denise Duffield Thomas (linked below), author of “Get Rich Lucky Bitch”, who lifts the lid on what it takes to run her home so that she can run online million-dollar business with a baby, toddler and a five-year-old in tow.
In short, she employs multiple “wives” — and note the use of the plural here, which in itself speaks volumes!
Women in Switzerland, in my opinion, are a couple of generations behind women in other western nations (if you’re a working mother in Switzerland, you’ll know what I mean; if you’re not, read my previous ‘The Housewife Conspiracy’ blog post).
But even the more emancipated ones among us (whether in Switzerland or not) are still battling among ourselves and with an eons-old inbred “housewife” mentality. As Denise says, “A man would never need to write this article because it’s just assumed that they have a wife at home doing most of the housework and childcare.” And by the same token, the modern working woman still assumes that she has to “do it all”.
So what does it really take to run a home? Me and my husband always say that it’s like running a small company. We’re a family of six, though, which makes life a tad more complicated than your typical 2.2-child family. Nevertheless, when you’ve got kids and a job or business — or both — you’ve got to fit in everything that a full-time “wife” would normally do around running your home: paying the bills, meal planning, food shopping, cooking and doing the dishes, keeping everything spick and span, the laundry, the garden, making appointments for handymen to come and fix or renovate things, filling out the annual tax returns, taxiing the kids to and from their after-school activities, helping with homework, going to parents evenings…the list is endless and the tasks on it relentless.
Personally, I’ve always said I need a housekeeper to run errands, do the everyday stuff needed to keep on top of things, cook lunch and clean up the kitchen afterwards (kids here in Switzerland have to come home for lunch, which swallows up a good two hours every day during the week), plus a cleaner to do a big clean once a week (like floors and bathrooms), plus a personal assistant to help do all the administrative and logistics stuff.
We do, in fact, already have a cleaner once a month, and me and my husband share the cooking and the cleaning and everyday household jobs equally. The kids have to help out with specific weekly chores (we’ve got a plan to avoid any rebellious teenage discussions), while a robot lawnmower cuts the grass in summer and a retired neighbour (thank God!) voluntarily keeps the rest of the garden neat and tidy for us.
To be honest, I don’t know how we’d manage without this support, but even then, it’s still not enough! (Do I sound “privileged” in saying that?) We both work, and I’ve got a small business communications business on the side. But there are many women who do it all without the help of cleaning ladies or partners. And the fact that I’ve worded that last sentence in a way that I’m the one getting help (and not that I’m the one helping out my husband), just goes to show that we women need to take a good hard look out our own mindset.
I’m not running a million-dollar business like Denise (yet!). In fact, I’m just your average working mother (who’s not-so-average in Switzerland). As Denise rightly points out in her article, until women start being honest with “how” they do it all, we’ll always believe that we have to do it all by ourselves. But why? Men don’t have this attitude, so why should we?
Even if you’re not an entrepreneur, aspiring or otherwise, please read Denise’s full article.
And let’s tell the truth about how we Swisswives (and Swissmen) do it all. I’d love to hear how your story in the comments below …